What’s your Response Style?

What’s your Response Style?

What’s your Response Style?25601763Manolis Stratakis

Response Style

There are 4 distinct styles of response at the good news of someone else (partner, friend, kid, spouse, etc.):

  • Active Constructive
  • Passive Constructive
  • Active Destructive
  • Passive Destructive

Example: The husband/wife returns home at the afternoon:

  • Honey! I got the promotion!!

Spouse: (Select one of the following to find your current response style!)

ActivePassive
Constructive
  • Excitement
  • Eye contact
  • Authentic smile
  • Joy

 

Welldonebaby! Amazing news, I knew you will do it! How do you feel now?(looks into her/his eyes)

Wait for me to open a nice bottle of wine to celebrate this!

  • Low energy
  • Delayed response
  • Quiet

 

Ah ok… [pause of several seconds] That’s very good for you.

(Gazing at his/her shoes)

 

Destructive 

  • Quashing the event
  • Dismissive
  • Demeaning

And now we are going to see you even less? Are you sure you can manage with more obligations?

 

  • Avoiding
  • Ignoring
  • Turns focus inwards

Well, we have so many problems and you only care about yourself…

 

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