Response Style in Communication
Our response style plays an important role in our communication with people. Builds or destroys our relations in work, family or friendships. Finding our own, gives us the necessary awareness in order to change it, if we need to. It also helps us understand other people responses to us.
There are 4 different response styles:
- Active Constructive
- Passive Constructive
- Active Destructive
- Passive Destructive
Response Style Example:
Let’s take for example a response at the good news of someone else. In this particular case it is our spouse. Of course, it could be our partner, friend, kid or colleague.
The husband/wife returns home at the afternoon:
- Honey! I got the promotion!!
Spouse: (Select one of the following to find your current response style!)
| Active | Passive | |
| Constructive |
Well done baby! Amazing news, I knew you will do it! How do you feel now? (looks into her/his eyes) Wait for me to open a nice bottle of wine to celebrate this! |
Ah ok… [pause of several seconds] That’s very good for you. (Gazing at his/her shoes) |
| Destructive |
Well, we have so many problems and you only care about yourself… |
And now we are going to see you even less? Are you sure you can manage with more obligations? |
Introspection questions
- Which of the four styles looks more attractive to you?
- How would you feel when facing someone with an Active/Destructive response style?
- Which style do you prefer to see from your spouse? Your boss? Your colleague?
- What is your own typical style?
- Do you have the same style at work, home or with your friends?
- In what ways you could perhaps improve it?
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Also check out the article: How emotionally intelligent are you?
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