Monthly Archives :

November 2019

Response Style

Response Style 2560 1763 Manolis Stratakis

There are 4 distinct styles of response at the good news of someone else (partner, friend, kid, spouse, etc.):

  • Active Constructive
  • Passive Constructive
  • Active Destructive
  • Passive Destructive

Example: The husband/wife returns home at the afternoon:

  • Honey! I got the promotion!!

Spouse: (Select one of the following to find your current response style!)

Constructive·       Excitement

·       Eye contact

·       Authentic smile

·       Joy


Well done baby! Amazing news, I knew you will do it! How do you feel now?(looks into her/his eyes)


Wait for me to open a nice bottle of wine to celebrate this!

·       Low energy

·       Delayed response

·       Quiet



Ah ok… [pause of several seconds] That’s very good for you.


(Gazing at his/her shoes)


Destructive·       Quashing the event

·       Dismissive

·       Demeaning



And now we are going to see you even less? Are you sure you can manage with more obligations?


·       Avoiding

·       Ignoring

·       Turns focus inwards



Well, we have so many problems and you only care about yourself…


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